things i want to remember from this day

- We had an early release because of snow. Thick clumps.
- I took a four hour nap (they keep getting longer). In it, I had a series of nightmares, one of which involved Richard, saying he thought I wasn't a good friend for you, saying I was fat, why did I think everyone was staring at me, etc. Saying he hated me, and I confronted you about this, and you gave me the doe-eyed look that it was true, and I was furious--you hadn't defended me. I told you I couldn't be your friend any more. It was terrible, felt so real. I think part of it is that I'm worried about this summer--I don't want to overstep and get in yours and Richard's way of becoming new parents, which I totally don't intend to do. I'll hide out in the basement and read, wander upstairs when you want to sleep. :) This summer is precious for the two of you, and I want to be helpful. Certainly I know you'll tell me when to get out of your hair, when you need me most.
- I also dreamed about being on a kind of set of Oz, only we were on a cruise ship. And I had to keep getting into these pools, a progression, as I made my way to the end--each pool would shoot me up and into the next, and someone was at the end, with a gun, shooting someone else, but I was afraid. I had to crawl up through a tube made of dark canvas, try to get out of there without being noticed and shot for having seen the shooter.
- When I received this email above, I was eating a granola bar. I wanted to yell, but my mouth as stiff with peanut butter. I wanted to call you immediately (and I did, nearly, just after lunch). I wanted to do a dance. Drink a glass of pomegranate and vodka.
- Minka singing again, the double over, strange since last December.

I'm in and I'm going. The dream is coming true. Please, come pinch me. (And I can watch your belly dance.)