(easier than attachments)

Trick or Treat?

Let's Plan a sleepover...

I'm in!

xo

Want to go to the state fair on Sunday? Pretty Please....

Two Peas...

I found this picture while organizing. It's from your Wedding Rehearsal! Hee hee!

Thanks for being there for me, darling. xo

Happy Anniversary!!

i'm off seeing the world

Arg, I feel like I'm missing out on so much! Good thing the poetry retreat was refreshing and energizing. Otherwise, I'd be cranky.

Let me finish my first draft of my M.Ed thesis and as a reward, I will get to see Christian again.

What are you doing this weekend?

xo

We Miss You!

....visit soon...please

Sunday

For future reference:

- I wrote about his birth here.
- I made a photo series about his birth here.
- The complete photos of the first 24 hours is here.
- And another photo set will always grow with Christian here.

And from my heart: I love him. And I love you. And I'm so glad to be a part of the family.

xo.

the polaroid that will be with me always

There exists, somewhere, a Polaroid of my mother, our age, pregnant with me, and she looks so happy. I really wanted a Polaroid of you, so pregnant, happy. I love your expression here: you look so Kelly.

I wrote a little blog post to Iago this morning.

Missing you.

xo

PS: We've had this blog for a year. :)

Does Leap Year Count?

My due date is June 27, but it was a Leap Year. So does that extra day mean I'm due June 26?

In One Month...

...I will be a mother
...you will be an Aunt
...a new life will begin
...a new adventure will start
...we will be blessed

two months, minus a day

Check out all these gorgeous original photographs by some really talented photographers here:

1. cuddle, 2. napping, 3. Marisa, 4. Sophia, 5. 12 weeks old, 6. Hayley Three, 7. sleepy., 8. "my new hat rocks! yeah baby!!": ZED 69.365, 9. Room With a View, 10. Untitled, 11. painter, 12. hello big ocean

I can't wait for the chance to photograph your little one.

I made a new photoset: kelly as mama.

I keep finding evidence of beauty everywhere.

Speaking of beauty, when do I get to see your belly again?

Part of your shower present came today. I am wiggling with anticipation and nerves.

Face the future head strong and free

I feel like we are both facing the same thing: the unknown. You: the great MFA adventure. Me: the birth of my child.
Both are new and exciting and a little scary. Okay, a lot scary.
But we'll get through it. And we'll be better people because of it. And we'll do it together

this world is so quiet

Teaching has been chaotic recently. The kids are anxious, tired of being trapped indoors, tired of the shape of their desks. And I've felt quiet lately. I love the days that are spent beneath a blanket, the weight of a good book in my hands. And I love the quiet walks with the dogs, the way the world has begun to reveal its colors slowly.

I am thinking so much about this summer and how good it will be for me. I don't know what the MFA program will bring to me, but I do know I don't want to lose my sense of self outside the university. I have a habit of throwing myself into passionate pursuits and letting all else fall away, stripped to the most essential bits. Remember when I first taught? I couldn't stop talking about lesson plans and differentiation and classroom tidbits. Will it be all poetry all the time? I can't say I mind this, but I'd hate to return to that alienating behavior that is all too typical of a new endeavor. All I could think about were MFA programs this late winter--who was taking whom, when I would find out, etc. It's over now, and instead of relief, I find myself calm inside. Like all the anxiety vanished instead of dissipated... Poof. Like it never happened. No sense of mourning or moving on.

Anyway, my point is that I'm grateful I'll be able to spend so much time with your son before I start school. Life has a way of getting chaotic, and we need to bask in these opportunities when we can.

Oo La La

Vitamin C Fights Scurvy

There is an on going joke about scurvy at work. I had various pop and juices on a cart waiting to go up to a meeting. A friend at work wanted an orange juice, but I couldn't let him have one. He said he was going to get scurvy.

Now everything is about scurvy. He even printed out the warning signs of scurvy for me and posted them on my desk. It's quite amusing.

And I love pirates.

things i want to remember from this day

- We had an early release because of snow. Thick clumps.
- I took a four hour nap (they keep getting longer). In it, I had a series of nightmares, one of which involved Richard, saying he thought I wasn't a good friend for you, saying I was fat, why did I think everyone was staring at me, etc. Saying he hated me, and I confronted you about this, and you gave me the doe-eyed look that it was true, and I was furious--you hadn't defended me. I told you I couldn't be your friend any more. It was terrible, felt so real. I think part of it is that I'm worried about this summer--I don't want to overstep and get in yours and Richard's way of becoming new parents, which I totally don't intend to do. I'll hide out in the basement and read, wander upstairs when you want to sleep. :) This summer is precious for the two of you, and I want to be helpful. Certainly I know you'll tell me when to get out of your hair, when you need me most.
- I also dreamed about being on a kind of set of Oz, only we were on a cruise ship. And I had to keep getting into these pools, a progression, as I made my way to the end--each pool would shoot me up and into the next, and someone was at the end, with a gun, shooting someone else, but I was afraid. I had to crawl up through a tube made of dark canvas, try to get out of there without being noticed and shot for having seen the shooter.
- When I received this email above, I was eating a granola bar. I wanted to yell, but my mouth as stiff with peanut butter. I wanted to call you immediately (and I did, nearly, just after lunch). I wanted to do a dance. Drink a glass of pomegranate and vodka.
- Minka singing again, the double over, strange since last December.

I'm in and I'm going. The dream is coming true. Please, come pinch me. (And I can watch your belly dance.)

change of scenery

As a best friend, I will say this: Congratulations! How wonderful for you to have that vote of encouragement from your job! And I know you've been needing a change of scenery, and I think Richard is willing to support you and to shift as well.

As a best friend, I will also say: You need to do what is best for you, what is best for your family.

And as a person who is completely selfish, I will say: DON'T GO! You can't leave me! I was just bemoaning to Ryan about you live too far away as it is, and we needed to find some way to get you two to move down here. (That way, little Iago can really have me as a teacher.)

And as a person who is completely selfish, I will say: The housing in and around Chicago is insanely expensive, and do you really want Iago to be raised there? I mean, Illinois? Really? Just talk to Ryan about how wonderful childhood in Illinois can be... You just can't take little Iago away from his aunt.

But the truth is, I will support you no matter what you decide. Shifting options, whatnot. I had applied to all those schools, FSU and Emerson and all else, not because I thought I would ever go, but because I wanted to know if I could. Then the option presented itself and my mind roiled. Just as maybe yours is now. Temptation.

I hope you stay though. Or move here. I'm selfish like that.

Changes are A-Commin'

I have a nasty head cold. And my only relief is Sudafed which I have to take sparingly (so it gets me through the sleeping hours). That means all day I have a congested nose, sinus pressure, clogged ears, a red, red nose (The help desk guys were trying to give me a reindeer nickname), and a wonky state of mind.
I will never take DayQuil for granted again.
Oh- and all this nose blowing has given me a chapped nose and two bloody noses. Joy!


My boss called me today. He asked me to reconsider moving to Chicago (he had mentioned it months ago, but I declined). He offered me a job as an Operations Manager (basically his job). He needs help since he has doubled his clientele and IST has given him clearance to hire another Operations Manager.
I mentioned the big issue: selling our house (we lost almost 10K on it). He said the salary would be worth it. I checked what the position pays: $45K - $250K. Since its Chicago, its going to be close to $60,000/year.
There are so many things to consider:
1. Richard - he has expressed interest in moving there, but can he transfer or find a new job
2. How much can we sell our house for (we don't want to lose money)
3. The baby. Daycare.
4. You. I vowed never to move away from you again
5. Richard's family. His mom freaked out the last time Richard brought it up.

Yikes.

Thanks for the trip, lady.

The doggies love your belly almost as much as I do. :)

Three months and 11 pounds later, my belly has swelled. Sometimes it feels like a torpedo protruding from mid section. I find myself bumping things with my stomach.
I can't wait until you lay your hand on my belly and feel my fiesty baby kick! He kicks all the time now.

Here you are, New Year's Day. Your belly is so big now, and I haven't even seen it yet. (What are you doing this weekend?) I had a dream last night that your belly was slim but strutting outward, like a torpedo. It was frightening and hideous; it reminded me of those 40's images of women's breasts, as if they could shoot straight out and give a dull jab to anyone meeting them. I need to see your new belly so I can erase the memory of this dream. Plus, I want to practice breathing like a huffy whale with you.

The Big Easy

Here we come!

stars in the snow just for you

Are you feeling better yet?

I miss you...

I don't think you should be allowed to leave for this long of a period. I haven't spoken to you in over a week! I can't take it. You need to come back. I'm having Molly withdrawal.

your wedding + mine

you are my rock

You are my i-i-i-i-sland.

Thank you for coming last night.

xox