things i want to remember from this day

- We had an early release because of snow. Thick clumps.
- I took a four hour nap (they keep getting longer). In it, I had a series of nightmares, one of which involved Richard, saying he thought I wasn't a good friend for you, saying I was fat, why did I think everyone was staring at me, etc. Saying he hated me, and I confronted you about this, and you gave me the doe-eyed look that it was true, and I was furious--you hadn't defended me. I told you I couldn't be your friend any more. It was terrible, felt so real. I think part of it is that I'm worried about this summer--I don't want to overstep and get in yours and Richard's way of becoming new parents, which I totally don't intend to do. I'll hide out in the basement and read, wander upstairs when you want to sleep. :) This summer is precious for the two of you, and I want to be helpful. Certainly I know you'll tell me when to get out of your hair, when you need me most.
- I also dreamed about being on a kind of set of Oz, only we were on a cruise ship. And I had to keep getting into these pools, a progression, as I made my way to the end--each pool would shoot me up and into the next, and someone was at the end, with a gun, shooting someone else, but I was afraid. I had to crawl up through a tube made of dark canvas, try to get out of there without being noticed and shot for having seen the shooter.
- When I received this email above, I was eating a granola bar. I wanted to yell, but my mouth as stiff with peanut butter. I wanted to call you immediately (and I did, nearly, just after lunch). I wanted to do a dance. Drink a glass of pomegranate and vodka.
- Minka singing again, the double over, strange since last December.

I'm in and I'm going. The dream is coming true. Please, come pinch me. (And I can watch your belly dance.)

change of scenery

As a best friend, I will say this: Congratulations! How wonderful for you to have that vote of encouragement from your job! And I know you've been needing a change of scenery, and I think Richard is willing to support you and to shift as well.

As a best friend, I will also say: You need to do what is best for you, what is best for your family.

And as a person who is completely selfish, I will say: DON'T GO! You can't leave me! I was just bemoaning to Ryan about you live too far away as it is, and we needed to find some way to get you two to move down here. (That way, little Iago can really have me as a teacher.)

And as a person who is completely selfish, I will say: The housing in and around Chicago is insanely expensive, and do you really want Iago to be raised there? I mean, Illinois? Really? Just talk to Ryan about how wonderful childhood in Illinois can be... You just can't take little Iago away from his aunt.

But the truth is, I will support you no matter what you decide. Shifting options, whatnot. I had applied to all those schools, FSU and Emerson and all else, not because I thought I would ever go, but because I wanted to know if I could. Then the option presented itself and my mind roiled. Just as maybe yours is now. Temptation.

I hope you stay though. Or move here. I'm selfish like that.

Changes are A-Commin'

I have a nasty head cold. And my only relief is Sudafed which I have to take sparingly (so it gets me through the sleeping hours). That means all day I have a congested nose, sinus pressure, clogged ears, a red, red nose (The help desk guys were trying to give me a reindeer nickname), and a wonky state of mind.
I will never take DayQuil for granted again.
Oh- and all this nose blowing has given me a chapped nose and two bloody noses. Joy!


My boss called me today. He asked me to reconsider moving to Chicago (he had mentioned it months ago, but I declined). He offered me a job as an Operations Manager (basically his job). He needs help since he has doubled his clientele and IST has given him clearance to hire another Operations Manager.
I mentioned the big issue: selling our house (we lost almost 10K on it). He said the salary would be worth it. I checked what the position pays: $45K - $250K. Since its Chicago, its going to be close to $60,000/year.
There are so many things to consider:
1. Richard - he has expressed interest in moving there, but can he transfer or find a new job
2. How much can we sell our house for (we don't want to lose money)
3. The baby. Daycare.
4. You. I vowed never to move away from you again
5. Richard's family. His mom freaked out the last time Richard brought it up.

Yikes.

Thanks for the trip, lady.

The doggies love your belly almost as much as I do. :)

Three months and 11 pounds later, my belly has swelled. Sometimes it feels like a torpedo protruding from mid section. I find myself bumping things with my stomach.
I can't wait until you lay your hand on my belly and feel my fiesty baby kick! He kicks all the time now.